Chubby Chased 2

A few years ago Achoo!'s employees were situated in a much prettier city of California. A few steps outside our office doors were retail stores and restaurants galore. I miss that.

Anyway, one morning I step out to go to the diner around the corner and down the street. What did I order? Come on, you know it's gotta be eggs benedict! As I'm crossing the street a jogger sidles up next to me.

Chubby Chaser: Ahnyeonghaesaeyo!

Fat Girl: I'm not Korean.

Chubby Chaser: Konichiwa!

Fat Girl: I'm not Japanese.

Chubby Chaser: Ni hao! (Mandarin Chinese)

Fat Girl: I'm fine, thank you.

Chubby Chaser: (Pulling out a business card, seemingly from out of nowhere) Here's my number, call me.

Fat Girl: (Reluctantly taking business card) Oh...o...k...

Chubby Chaser: You're not gonna call me, are you?

Fat Girl: Nope.

Chubby Chaser: Can I have my card back?

That Chubby Chaser was many things. The three things that stood out most:

1. Jackass

2. Cheap

3. Keeping me from my breakfast!

Vegas Diet

The weekend was spent in Vegas. Probably the only time I don't eat very much is when I'm in Vegas. We'll go for a nice dinner on one of the nights but that's about it. The rest of the Vegas diet consists of vodka, cranberry juice, water, tequila, vodka, water, snack foods, maybe a lite breakfast, maybe a sandwich and vodka. It's a great way to lose weight, by the way. (Don't try this at home, boys and girls.)

While my friends are sleeping at 3AM, I'm at the blackjack table with a guy I met earlier. Tall, blonde, blue eyes & a great smile. Just the kind of white boy I like. His friends are also asleep & think he has a gambling problem. What problem?

We talked. We laughed. We won some money. He offered breakfast. I accepted. We bonded over eggs benedict. This Vegas diet is awesome.

Great Notes

Today I was flipping through my notebook for information I needed to clarify some project launch we're so excited about. I came to a page with just one sentence on it. It was written to Loaf during one of our many meetings. It was a great sentence though:

Eggs benedict would be so good right now.

I need to shred this notebook.