Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Lessons Not Learned 2

Yesterday was the second time I evacuated my intestines of my lunch withinin five days. Needless to say,  my stomach is sensitive. The first time was bad thai, the second was bad NY steak. The steak was my fault. It was more rare than medium.  I thought I could handle it but the blood and the texture of the meat got the best of me.

I know it's crazy but I am grateful for my sensitive stomach. I'd rather flush $20 down the toilet and get it over with with a few hurls than let contaminated food go through my system and make me sick for days.

Anyway, my whole point of telling you all this is that each time I toss my cookies and look at the contents floating and sinking in the porcelain bowl, I'm amazed at how terrible I am at chewing my food. Each time I promise myself I'll be a better chewer, but each time it seems I forget that promise as soon as I wipe my little teardrops off the toilet seat...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Shanghai Surprise

There's nothing like the buzzkill of seeing just how fat you really are in your vacation photos.

We were in Shanghai recently. Yummy food = diet? what diet?

But seriously, it's time to get those pork buns on the treadmill...

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Piggy Confessions 3

Courage Confidence Character

That's what I'm reading off the box of Girl Scouts Thin Mints, and it's so true...

I had the Courage to eat half a box of them Thin Mints in the about 10 minutes in the morning, and finish the other half in about the same time in the afternoon.

I had the Confidence that I could eat all 7 servings (4 cookies per serving) in one day.

I had the Character to push through the last 4 cookies each time even though I was definitely feeling a sugar coma coming on.

Yes, I had a micro-second of Thin Mint remorse. But I swear I'll get off my Giant Mint shaped ass & start walking my 3 miles every day on March 1st.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

O My Soul

Oooooh! Honey child! I had me some good soul food several days ago!

I happened to be in the Inglewood hood and Boss Man suggested that I try this little joint:

Fried catfish nuggets, crawfish etouffe & cajun fries with ranch dressing and free french bread were delivered to me within 10 minutes. I ate all of the catfish, fries, my french bread & some of that etouffe & rice. The catfish was fresh & had a nice crunchy outside. The etouffe was fantastic! They don't skimp on the crawfish. Every spoonful has crawfish. The tomato base roux is something special. Nice & buttery.

I was so stuffed but actually contemplated getting the hot wings...I came to my senses. Them hot wings and I will meet next time I'm in Inglewood... to be continued...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Off My Chest

OK, I’mma gonna rant for just a little.

You people who are expecting or have newborns (or not so new borns,) you have successfully annoyed the hell out of me. Ya, I said it…you people.

You people need to knock it off. All the goo-ing and the ga-ing, the I’m so complete now that I am pregnant/have a child, the now the world revolves around me cuz I am pregnant/have a child, the lavish parties for the one year old…guh!

You are not more special because you are with child or have a child. Your child is not more special than anybody else’s child. Your child is not too precious to be disciplined. Your child is not too precious to be spanked. You musta forgot we are all created equal. We just have varying degrees of stupidity.

Naughty Blonde showed me this article a while back and I totally agree. I was reminded of this article when a good dining experience was interrupted by unruly children and their parents who are too fat & too lazy to discipline them.

Parents: Your Kids Aren't That Special

Of course, Cafferty isn’t the authority on parenting and he admits that. I may not agree with all his views, but the guy’s got a point here.

Who are you people who allow your children to run around like rabid dogs in a restaurant when fast moving waiters are delivering plates of hot food to hungry customers?

Who are you people who allow your children to circle a stranger’s dining table, stand a little too close to the stranger and just stare with somewhat retarded looks on their faces?

It’s not cute, it’s f*cking annoying.

If, indeed, having children is such a special thing and if, indeed, your children are such miracles then step up. Step up and teach them to respect the earth, its resources and its inhabitants. Teach them to be responsible, productive members of society.  Otherwise they are just whiny, bitchy, self-important little brats with an outrageous sense of entitlement. Just. Like. You.

Next time, when you people are trying to have a good dining experience, don’t be surprised when I start circling your table, invade your personal space and stare.

And then you can tell me how cute and appropriate that is.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I Brake for Pho

There's something about water drops falling from the sky that confuses Southern Californian drivers, especially the Asian drivers. OK, not all the Asians, just the older ones and yes, most of the female ones. sigh Their usual bad driving is almost considered bearable when compared to their patience wearing, fist shaking, curse inducing driving when it rains.

Yes, I'm a female Asian driver, but not a bad driver. I don't brake for no apparent reason. I don't make a left or right turn from the middle of the road. I can successfully parallel park on the first try 99% of the time. When I make a 3 point turn, it's a 3 point turn, not a 13 point turn. I can go on...

Despite knowing there would be maddening traffic due to this record setting storm, I drove myself into the heart of Alhambra. This weather calls for PHO 79. I order the usual hot bowl of pho ga and deep fried eggrolls with spicy fish sauce. The fried, crisp eggroll skins give such a satisfying crunch when you bite down. Each order comes with four eggrolls. Yes, four. I know there are only two pictured.

So if i can put myself in bad Asian drivers' way, what are you waiting for?

Go out.
And be fat.
Like me.