Oh, Michael Bluth

Jason Bateman is Man of Style in this issue of InStyle Magazine. He can be my Man of Style every month.

Jason made a great comeback with Arrested Development, and boy was I glad. He came back hotter than ever! (And I was equally crushed when they decided to end the show.)

Here's a quote from the magazine article: There's a 300 pound man inside of me waiting to get out, so if I don't do an hour of cardio every day I will explode.

Jason totally gets me. The Fat Girl Inside is 300 pounds and just waiting to get comfortable in the oversized sweatpants and tshirt. He understands.

If you ever find yourself single, Jason, you can slap this piggy pork butt. tee hee

Piggy See, Piggy Do

Mama Piggy chose Nice Time Deli for her birthday dinner. It's a good place for Taiwanese styled dishes. It's a step above hole in the wall so don't expect great service unless you know how to speak Mandarin. The food, however, is authentic. Just the way I remember Mama Piggy used to make.

I wanted to take her to a nicer place, a sushi place perhaps, but Mama Piggy is not picky and she was in the mood for Chinese. Also, she was hoping the owner would be there so that we'd get some free food. heehee

Here's what we ordered:

Jellyfish – gelatinous, crunchy and flavorless. I didn't care for it but Mama Piggy likes it.
Xiao long bao – juicy little steamed pork dumplings
Eggplant with basil – I wish I could make eggplant the way they do
Steamed whole rock cod with ginger, cilantro & soy sauce - one of my favorites
Goose with house sauce – surprisingly good. It wasn't gamey at all.
Oyster noodle soup – just like the kind Brother and I used to have from the street vendors in Taiwan, on the way home from our swimming lessons

Their xiao long bao may not be as good as Din Tai Fung across the street, but Nice Time is cheaper and has a bigger menu.

One of Mama Piggy's friends joined us and we ate just about everything. There was only a small take out box of eggplant left, which disappeared down my throat within minutes of getting home…

Nothing to Sing About

Brother and I went to lunch this weekend. We had both not been to Saladang in a while so we decided to go. Shoulda went to President Thai instead.

Saladang had never been a great restaurant. Mediocre food and definitely overpriced. But the ambiance was nice so we went every once in a while. I think this weekend is my last visit there.

The service was lousy and the food was still mediocre. The waitresses were rude. Looked at me as if I was crazy when I asked for chopsticks and more water.

At the end of the meal, after waiting 15 minutes, I asked where our leftovers were. There was confusion & finally, 5 minutes later, they brought a bag over. I decided to check & sure enough, it wasn't our food. We brought it to the front and complained. There was more confusion and they had no idea what the hell they were doing. After 10 more minutes of waiting around we decided to leave and never go back.

Saladang didn't even offer to make it up to us. They said "Sorry", but it was said in the way a child would when a parent made him apologize.

You can keep your "sorry" and your lousy food and service, Saladang. You'll lose lots of customers soon enough.

Little Piggy Galoshes

Happy Birthday, Mama Piggy!!!

Click here for a funny story of a piglet, named Cinderella, who's afraid of dirt.

This little piggy is also afraid of dirt...sometimes. ;)

Sophomore Blues

The Fat Girl Inside is back! No cable AND no internet? That was almost as bad as the no-carb diet! If they didn't give me Showtime free for a year, I woulda dumped Time Warner and hooked up with satellite TV. Well, one more screw up and I'm kickin' Time Warner to the curb.

Back to my food obsession...

I began my high school sophomore year in a new school, in a new state. We had just moved to Cerritos, California. Sally and I had AP English together and we became fast friends. One day when I met Sally for lunch she was holding something I had not seen before. (Keep in mind that at the time I was from a mainly white city of the east coast, very sheltered and preferred Mama Piggy's Chinese cooking to anything else.)

Sally was carrying what seemed like little round sticks stuffed with something, covered in a green sauce. What the hell? She told me it was taquitos with guacamole. That was my introduction to Mexican food. The school cafeteria is no source of quality food, of course, but I was in love with guacamole instantly. So, what did I do? I had two servings of taquitos.

Half way through my Biology class I started feeling queasy. I knew it was inevitable but I tried to fight it. Finally, I couldn't fight it any more. I had to cup my mouth with my hand to stop the vomit from spewing out onto the back of the head of the kid in front of me. I stood up and headed for the door. My biology teacher and I made eye contact for a second and he knew exactly what was happening.

As soon as I rounded the corner of the building, I couldn't hold it in any more. I left a trail of watery green liquid mixed with little bits of taquito all the way to the restroom.

I never had school cafeteria Mexican food again.

Chubby Chased 4

As the Taste of the Nation event came to a close and we took our pictures with Antonia (Top Chef) and her daughter, Titty Vortex 1 and I stopped to watch the Top Waiter contest for a minute.

That was when I noticed Chubby Chaser staring at me. His two friends also staring. They also stared at TV1. I felt uncomfortable so I told TV1 that we should head over to the valet. I could feel their eyes burning holes into the backs of our heads as we walked away.

The line at the valet was long. Kirk Cameron and family were also waiting in line. They're so cute. The kids were well behaved. His wife is beautiful & oh so skinny (lucky bitch).

We sat down since we figured it was gonna take a while. It seemed like it was the valets' first day on the job. Anyway, we were talking about our favorite foods and minding our own business when Chubby Chaser and his two friends walked up.

Chubby Chaser: Hey, are you ladies going to the party?

Fat Girl (aka TV2): No.

Chubby Chaser: Why don't you join us for a drink? We're going to "fresh".

TV1: Where?

Chubby Chaser: Fresh. You've never heard of it? (Chubby Chaser slides me his business card. The restaurant he refers to is Fraiche.)

TV1 & TV2: No.

Chubby Chaser: It's "fresh". You don't know? (incredulous that we didn't know)

TV1 and I fell silent and Chubby Chaser & company walked on.

I wanted to tell him: This is how you say it, "fraiche" (French pronunciation). You should learn how to pronounce it if you work there. Idiot.

TV1 and I knew what he was talking about but didn't want to correct him. Why? Why did we feel like we had to spare his feelings & not correct him in front of his friends?

We also held in our giggles and laughter til we got into the car. I think next time we should just laugh in their faces.

Belly Bustin' Goodness

The Share Our Strength Taste of the Nation event was fantastic. As I imagined, our stomachs weren't big enough to hold all the offerings from each participating restaurant/chef. Titty Vortex 1 and I (the other half of the Vortex) were so excited we didn't know where to start. It didn't take long for us to get our rhythm; eat, comment on food, take a swig of wine & move on to the next booth.

Some of our favorites were:

Boa Steakhouse - 12 hour smoked kobe brisket on a King's Hawaiian sweet roll

Water Grill - oyster on the half shell

Sona - braised pork belly with smoked eggplant puree & celery root shiso salad

La Cachette - divine chocolate cake

Sushi Roku - tuna carpaccio with soy truffle vinaigrette & spicy tuna hand roll

My absolute favorite was the braised pork belly. So tender. So fatty.

Titty Vortex 1's favorite was the smoked kobe brisket. That was also nice & fatty. We had two of those.

After maybe 10-12 booths, we had to head to the VIP lounge and take a break. But once we got there we realized there was even more food! Seared scallops, purple artichoke hearts, caviar, champagne... It was non-stop food! (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

We waddled out towards the cookoff area after we gave our stomachs some rest. The cookoff was hosted by Kirk Cameron! He looks good. I remember my junior high crush on him. His wife & six kids were also in attendance. They're a cute family.

Iron Chef Cat Cora, Evan Kleinman (KCRW), Jonathan something (food critic) and some other guy I didn't recognize were the judges. Antonia from Top Chef made duck spring rolls with a light vinaigrette for the competition. She didn't win. And she wouldn't tell us if she won Top Chef. We got some good pictures & you can view them here.

Now that we're experienced, Titty Vortex 1 and I have our game plan for next year so that we can stuff even more food down our throats than we did this year. =)